Humanoid influencers pose threat to society. Cancel them.


A “fan” of Charli D’Amelio idolizes her when she appears to be perfect but criticizes her when she makes a mistake. Social media influencers are over-scrutinized and attacked as if they are expected to be flawless machines. (Illustration by Heather Gurgul.)

Pssst… hey! Hey you! Yeah, you over there scrolling through your ‘for you’ page on TikTok. 

Let me fill you in on a little secret: social media influencers aren’t real people. 

Is that a shocker to you? It shouldn’t be — social media app designers obviously created humanoids and edited them into TikToks and Instagram posts. Ever wonder why you never see these influencers in person? Exactly. 

And that’s not even the juiciest part — did you know that these humanoids are programmed to offend you by making the tiniest mistakes? After all, that one saying, “the smallest things have the biggest impact” has a lot of truth to it. 

Humanoid TikToker Charlie D’amelio is the prime example of this despicable behavior. In a YouTube video with her so-called “biological family,” D’amelio stated that she wished to reach 100 million followers exactly a year after she hit one million followers.

After Humanoid Makeup Influencer James Charles asked, “Was the 95 [million] not enough for you?” D’amelio replied saying that she wanted to have “even numbers” for her follower count and made a silly face with her synthetic tongue out to further express a lack of empathy for her fans. 

In an attempt to get revenge, fans who were displeased with her conduct tried to cancel her, unfollow her and send rude comments her way in an attempt to stop her from achieving her goals.

I really appreciate this effort, you guys, especially considering that no person, let alone an influencer, should have elaborate dreams or ambitions of any kind. Y’all are technology-dependent kings and queens (insert heart-eye emoji here).

But unfortunately, this plan failed. Fans who are blind to the fact that all of these creators are robots lifted D’Amelio back up. And now, she stands at over 109 million followers. So what are us woke-folk supposed to do? 

Let’s come together and devise a plan to cancel these humanoid influencers once and for all. Heck, let’s shatter them into pieces by repeatedly punching them by doing the “woah” in their faces — in other words, let’s “out-woah” them. They deserve the brutality for having goals, apologizing for their mistakes and trying to spread positivity throughout the world. 

We should continue our backlash by repeatedly sending threats to influencers for not doing enough when it comes to speaking up about real-world issues rather than simply calling them out in a respectful manner. Let’s do this to the point where we actually detract attention away from solving those issues — that will help everyone sleep a little better at night, knowing that progress is actually declining rather than increasing. Work smarter, not harder, right?

And last but not least, let’s acknowledge that these influencers are cold, selfish robots incapable of feeling any kind of emotion. Listen, I get it — these are young, freshly-built robots. They have a whole life ahead of them. But if they don’t start out perfect right from the get-go, it’s game over. 

If you’re reading this and thinking—this is ABSURD–I’m here to tell you that it is! Follow your resistance to everything I said above. Listen to the part of you that is saying “but they ARE human.”

They are not robots. Too often, people will cyber-bully influencers when they make mistakes without considering their feelings. They expect influencers to be perfect as if they are flawless machines, and they leave mean comments as if influencers are emotionless robots.

Instead of cancelling and harassing influencers when they mess up, all we have to do is call them out, hold them accountable for their actions– and then forgive them. It’s the human thing to do.